elevators

so I think in a few days life is going to seem a little harder for me all because of elevators...well...maybe not, but I'll let you know.

Prior to my "real job" the most elevator experience I had was in the rickety little elevator in Boyd and Putnam (yes friends, it had a door and a gate you had to manually open) which I'm sure were installed when the buildings were built. Needless to say, trying to fit more than 4 people in it was a feat. So I come to work and I enter the world of corporate elevators. The first thing I noticed was the fact that the men practically fell over each other to let the women on and off first. I didn't know people still did this...not only the older guys, but the young just out of college guys too. Most days it's nice, now that i know that i will be expected to make the first move towards the door. sometimes it's a little inconvenient when I'm in back of a packed elevator. I just want to be like "I don't care when I get off, and I'd rather not make everyone else squish so you can go first, no problem".

yesterday after work a group of us (me being the only girl) were all waiting for the elevator and when it arrived, I stepped forward, taking my customary 'first one on' position, when a guy totally darted in front of me and got on the elevator first. As it was happening he realized it and apologized and of course I didn't care but it was interesting to see both of our reactions. I don't think I deserve to be let on or off first, but there is a certain amount of respect I guess that entitles that to happen. have I now come to expect it...yes, if only to avoid the awkward 'who's going to go first' scenario.

so I know it's a small thing but still I think that because of it I think that I'm going to struggle a little more with my role as a woman in the next few weeks.

beloved

"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders" dut 33:12

un-american???

so I'm sitting at home flipping through the channels when i see one of the televised fourth of july fireworks shows. And i'm struck. I knew today was the 4th, and had two seperate invites to go watch the fireworks here but didn't go with either. it just didn't seem like a big deal to me. granted I'm not feeling well and have had a cold all week, but still it's the 4th of july and i wonder if i should have gone out.

For some reason holiday's just aren't that big anymore. I don't know why, maybe it was celebrating them unconventionally overseas (even though we sure did have an easter egg hunt around the lake at one of the universities), maybe it's being so far away from my family, or maybe i've turned into this huge introvert who would rather chill than celebrate with a lot of people. who knows. I'm hoping it's just the cold...