Wednesday, January 07, 2009

lessons learned

A couple of years ago at the training to go overseas our speaker spoke on rights. I don't remember all of it, but I remember the strong implication it gave as to adjusting our attitude and what we believe our rights are. I don't have the right to eat what I want to for breakfast (for some reason breakfast was a big deal to me while over there), I don't have the right to sleep in past the 6am playing of the national anthem right outside my hotel window, I don't have the right to not eat what was put in front of me. All summer (and the next year) I was reminded of what my rights were and it put me in such a beautiful position of gratefulness and humility and grace.

Fast forward 5 years. I was supposed to be transferring departments at work today. I've known about this move and my anticipation had been building for over a month. Yesterday I found out that my move date got pushed back and I wouldn't be able to transfer for another week and a half. I was livid. All the reasons they gave for needing to hang onto me for longer weren't my fault. I felt like I was being punished for things that I had no control over. I wanted everything to be fair, and fair to me meant that I got to move when they told me I would-not two weeks later.
It took me about 5 hours to calm down, and during those 5 hours I was horrible to all of my coworkers.

As I was reading before bed last night I was overcome with the reality of my sin. Somewhere I had bought into the idea that I deserved to move to my new group on my schedule. That it was my right to only do the bare minimum required of me now. That will show them. ugh. It made me sick thinking back on my attitude yesterday.

So today I'm thankful that every morning His mercies are new. That I've been given a whole other day (and 8 more after that) to love and serve and be Christ to those He's surrounded me with.

1 comment:

Erin said...

This is lovely friend. This and your heart.